New Year

This is the time for resolutions. I could resolve to write more, but if you've read my blog, I'm not exactly thriving where that's concerned (it's been five years since my last post). I could resolve to eat better, workout more, be an all around better human being but that's pretty much a daily resolution that I think I fail at by 9 a.m. each day. Instead, I think I'll tell you about my resolutions from last winter, December 2018. I'll take you into the mental and emotional space I was functioning in and try to capture for you how stuck I felt, how bitter my inner voice was sounding, how frustrated I was in pretty much all things personally and professionally. I knew I needed change and was pretty resolute to make some big moves. I made a list of goals in a pretty notebook I had purchased thinking it would make me write more. Here were the two big goals: NEW HOUSE NEW JOB NEW LIFE was basically what I was preparing for, one where I got to take the kids, the husband, and the dog with me (the new dog that is- Griffin; we lost our precious Bruiser in May 2015). And I/we did it. We sold our home and bought a new one that gave us more space and the possibility of quiet. I applied for and got a new job as an instructional coach in my district. The changes have been good but I'll be honest, they've been really hard too. Reflecting on it, I think change is so difficult because there's so much loss even in the midst of good solid gains. It's been nineteen years since I was a newbie at something and I don't like being a newbie all that much. I'm learning, which is good but I don't feel all that impactful in my role just yet. In the long run, this will be good for me; it will make me a more marketable administrator (I went back to school and got my Ed Specialist degree) and/or it will make me a better teacher if I go back into the classroom. But I've lost my people, my colleagues and friends, at least in the day-to-day sense, and that's been hard. I've missed interacting with students and supporting them in developing thoughtful ideas and becoming more confident writers. I do miss my teacher self. I don't know my coach self and that's unnerving. ANYWAY.... As for my sons. Hunter is a 15 year old sophomore. He is an accomplished ninja warrior. He has his Driver's permit and is doing well in school. He can have real attitude but all in all, he's in a very good place personally and academically. Mason is a 12 year old sixth grader who wears size 10 1/2 shoes. He plays travel basketball and is very good at art. He just got an I-phone which is already creating some challenges for us. He is enjoying being connected to his friends through text and FaceTime. So there's my post. I hope that another five years DOESN'T go by before my next post because that will mean Hunter is 20 and Mason is 17. I can't even wrap my mind around that.